I have another thought to share with you - about the "Happy Fat Lady". Although I still have a long ways to travel along this road, I will share with you my most deepest thoughts and observations along the way.
The happy fat lady! That's me! Or, is it?
How many 'fat' people do you know who are always laughing - the one who makes everyone laugh with his or her humor? Yes, that was me - the happy, laughing "fat lady".
People can be cruel. On a vacation trip to Florida almost 20 years ago, I was lying on the beach while my husband and son played in the ocean. A group of young people were wandering down the beach - just laughing and pushing and shoving like young people do. They got to the place where I was resting and stopped. I wasn't watching them, but I realized that they had stopped. The laughter was louder now and I heard one of them exclaim loudly, "Look, a whale has washed up on the beach - should we throw it back, or let it lay there and die?". Then they all laughed and proceeded on their way, frolicking down the beach. I continued to lay there till they were gone and then went back to the room. I put on the happy face again for my husband and son, and they never realized there was anything wrong.
But, inside my heart was breaking. Fat and happy are not adjectives that should be used in the same sentence to describe a person. Jolly perhaps. Or, funny! But, not happy. Fat is unhealthy . How can you be happy when you have high blood pressure, diabetes, your feet hurt, your knees are completely worn out, and your back constantly aches? But, I had trained myself to be funny - to laugh when I wanted to cry. So many jokes center around fat people. And, the fatter I became, the funnier I became.
One of the funniest people I ever knew was my father. He could make you laugh with so little effort. He had a round chubby face, with a cherry nose. He was Santa Claus all year around. And, he was fat. As he became fatter, he could no longer fish or hunt - two things that he loved doing. His feet were swollen, and it became so difficult for him to walk. He had knee replacements and his hips were deteriorating. He was jolly - everyone loved him. But, was he happy? I never thought about it when he was alive, but looking back - and especially now since I have walked in his shoes, so to speak - I don't believe he was.
Logic would tell you that with all that going on in your body, you would take steps to correct the situation. But, emotions are not logical. Depression is not logical. Fat is not logical, but it happens.
I am so grateful that I finally had an emotional change of heart - that I made the leap to do something about my health. My daughter lives across the USA from me, so we don't see each other often except in the photos she sees. We shared our Christmas pictures online. Her comment to me? "Mom, Michael and I were looking at your pictures and can tell you have lost weight. But, we decided the biggest difference is your smile. You look sincerely "happy"!"
How blessed I am to be able to say without reservation. "I am happy!"